April 1, 2012
Filed in: training
Gentle Horsemanship
Not so long ago I wrote about a lady who asked me to visit and give some help with a difficult Warmblood. I mentioned that she was not happy that at times I firmed up on her horse. Well, during the week I visited another lady with similar troubles with her stockhorse.
When I got out of the car and after introductions I went to the rear of my car and pulled out my chaps, a rope halter and lead and a flag. For me these are standard items of equipment that I carry on every visit to help people with horses. I don’t always use them, but I like to have them with me in case I need them.
When the lady saw the halter and the flag, she told me that she didn’t want me to use them on her horse. She said she had seen horses get rope burns from rope halters and also seen horses terrified by flags. She was worried that her horse would become scared. This was even before I had seen the horse or even knew if the halter and flag were necessary.
I was a little annoyed at her assumption that I was there to terrify her horse, but I suggested that she first show me what her horse is like and then we can discuss how I might approach the issue.
I watched from outside her yard. Even in a yard she caught her horse with a carrot. She slipped on her leather halter while the horse was staring off towards his mates in the other paddock. When she tried to lead him forward, he stood his ground and she waited and waited until he decided to follow. Then he swapped sides on her several times and when she stopped him he pushed into her, swung his head around to see his friends and knocked the side of her head.
I asked her why I was called out and she said to teach her horse better manners on the ground. Then I gave her “the talk” about how he expects she will get out of his space wherever he goes. I told her about how another horse would not tolerate this etc. You know what I mean.
I took the lead rope from her and asked him to politely step back out of my space. But instead of backing up he walked straight at me. I bumped him hard and thwacked the end of the lead on my chaps. The horse leapt in the air and off to the side. He didn’t go backwards, but he did suddenly register I was there and he needed to listen to me. I pointed this out to the owner while I rubbed her horse on the face.
She said she didn’t think he needed to be scared and that she was looking for a kinder approach. We discussed her idea that her horse just needed kindness to be shown the way to respond. But I bluntly told her that she had been doing that all along and this is what she got. I said horses don’t need you to be their friend – they have other horses for that. What they need is to believe that you offer a leadership that will keep them safe. I told her frankly that her desire to be her horse’s friend and not upset him has caused these problems and has left him totally lost about which one of them is leading the relationship. He ignores her because her presence worries him via her lack of clarity about his role in the relationship.
Of course, this upset her and I left another unhappy customer.
I have experienced a few times before people who think about training horses in terms of what feels good to them. The lady felt good about being kind and gentle to her horse. It didn’t matter to her that she was making the horse miserable. She didn’t want to know about that. If helping her horse meant setting clear and definite boundaries, she’d rather leave her horse stressed and bothered because not upsetting him was her first priority.
We all have agendas when working with horses. Some have an agenda to win ribbons, some to instil obedience, some to have a better relationship, some to make them feel better, some to have something in their life they can dominate and control, some to have a sport they can share with family and friends, some to given them an excuse to get away from the kids. The lady I saw during the week had an agenda that was to make her feel good about being a kind and gentle friend to her horse. She was determined she was going to do this no matter what I said or what the horse felt. This was all about making her feel better, not her horse.
I find many people get sucked into training schemes that try to make them feel good. I think of the schools of Nevzorov, Hempfling, Resnick and others. They use language and marketing strategies that are designed to evoke warm and fuzzy emotions from people. Their videos have slow motion drama, soft focus and emotive music. They talk about horsemanship as a spiritual journey etc. But when you look at the horses closely you see troubled and stressed horses that are little more than obedient. Nevertheless, people feel good about being on a spiritual journey with their horsemanship and too bad what the horse needs. This is what the lady with the stockhorse is looking for.
I don’t know how to help somebody be good with a horse and still not be prepared to change his or her approach. Clearly, the approach they are using when I see them is not working otherwise I would not get called out or they would not be coming to a clinic. Yet, even with that knowledge that they are doing something wrong, they are virtually adamant their overall philosophy is correct. Any changes they are prepared to make are superficial and on the fringes. I find this to be true even after I have worked the horse and got very dramatic improvements. They can’t let go of their agenda. If demonstrating how a horse can change by offering focus and clarity does not cause people to re-think their approach, I don’t know what else can be done.
Sometimes I have had clients who started out with an agenda that needed changing and I thought I would never be able to help them. But months and even years later I hear from them again wanting to make changes. It seems time and more experience has brought about a new way of thinking about their horse. I don’t think any of it can be attributed to me. I think it is part of evolving at a horse person that experience brings about that gets them thinking differently.
This is Alexander Nevzorov and his promotional video - slow motion, music, dramatic movements.
Not so long ago I wrote about a lady who asked me to visit and give some help with a difficult Warmblood. I mentioned that she was not happy that at times I firmed up on her horse. Well, during the week I visited another lady with similar troubles with her stockhorse.
When I got out of the car and after introductions I went to the rear of my car and pulled out my chaps, a rope halter and lead and a flag. For me these are standard items of equipment that I carry on every visit to help people with horses. I don’t always use them, but I like to have them with me in case I need them.
When the lady saw the halter and the flag, she told me that she didn’t want me to use them on her horse. She said she had seen horses get rope burns from rope halters and also seen horses terrified by flags. She was worried that her horse would become scared. This was even before I had seen the horse or even knew if the halter and flag were necessary.
I was a little annoyed at her assumption that I was there to terrify her horse, but I suggested that she first show me what her horse is like and then we can discuss how I might approach the issue.
I watched from outside her yard. Even in a yard she caught her horse with a carrot. She slipped on her leather halter while the horse was staring off towards his mates in the other paddock. When she tried to lead him forward, he stood his ground and she waited and waited until he decided to follow. Then he swapped sides on her several times and when she stopped him he pushed into her, swung his head around to see his friends and knocked the side of her head.
I asked her why I was called out and she said to teach her horse better manners on the ground. Then I gave her “the talk” about how he expects she will get out of his space wherever he goes. I told her about how another horse would not tolerate this etc. You know what I mean.
I took the lead rope from her and asked him to politely step back out of my space. But instead of backing up he walked straight at me. I bumped him hard and thwacked the end of the lead on my chaps. The horse leapt in the air and off to the side. He didn’t go backwards, but he did suddenly register I was there and he needed to listen to me. I pointed this out to the owner while I rubbed her horse on the face.
She said she didn’t think he needed to be scared and that she was looking for a kinder approach. We discussed her idea that her horse just needed kindness to be shown the way to respond. But I bluntly told her that she had been doing that all along and this is what she got. I said horses don’t need you to be their friend – they have other horses for that. What they need is to believe that you offer a leadership that will keep them safe. I told her frankly that her desire to be her horse’s friend and not upset him has caused these problems and has left him totally lost about which one of them is leading the relationship. He ignores her because her presence worries him via her lack of clarity about his role in the relationship.
Of course, this upset her and I left another unhappy customer.
I have experienced a few times before people who think about training horses in terms of what feels good to them. The lady felt good about being kind and gentle to her horse. It didn’t matter to her that she was making the horse miserable. She didn’t want to know about that. If helping her horse meant setting clear and definite boundaries, she’d rather leave her horse stressed and bothered because not upsetting him was her first priority.
We all have agendas when working with horses. Some have an agenda to win ribbons, some to instil obedience, some to have a better relationship, some to make them feel better, some to have something in their life they can dominate and control, some to have a sport they can share with family and friends, some to given them an excuse to get away from the kids. The lady I saw during the week had an agenda that was to make her feel good about being a kind and gentle friend to her horse. She was determined she was going to do this no matter what I said or what the horse felt. This was all about making her feel better, not her horse.
I find many people get sucked into training schemes that try to make them feel good. I think of the schools of Nevzorov, Hempfling, Resnick and others. They use language and marketing strategies that are designed to evoke warm and fuzzy emotions from people. Their videos have slow motion drama, soft focus and emotive music. They talk about horsemanship as a spiritual journey etc. But when you look at the horses closely you see troubled and stressed horses that are little more than obedient. Nevertheless, people feel good about being on a spiritual journey with their horsemanship and too bad what the horse needs. This is what the lady with the stockhorse is looking for.
I don’t know how to help somebody be good with a horse and still not be prepared to change his or her approach. Clearly, the approach they are using when I see them is not working otherwise I would not get called out or they would not be coming to a clinic. Yet, even with that knowledge that they are doing something wrong, they are virtually adamant their overall philosophy is correct. Any changes they are prepared to make are superficial and on the fringes. I find this to be true even after I have worked the horse and got very dramatic improvements. They can’t let go of their agenda. If demonstrating how a horse can change by offering focus and clarity does not cause people to re-think their approach, I don’t know what else can be done.
Sometimes I have had clients who started out with an agenda that needed changing and I thought I would never be able to help them. But months and even years later I hear from them again wanting to make changes. It seems time and more experience has brought about a new way of thinking about their horse. I don’t think any of it can be attributed to me. I think it is part of evolving at a horse person that experience brings about that gets them thinking differently.
This is Alexander Nevzorov and his promotional video - slow motion, music, dramatic movements.