I was having a casual conversation with a friend about nothing in particular. I mentioned that I had had a really good day. He asked what I had been doing. I told him that Michèle (my wife) and I had been shopping. We bought some food and picked up a couple of things for the house. It was nothing exciting, but it was a really good day.
My friend said, “I hate shopping. I couldn’t think of anything worse than being dragged to the shops.”
I responded, “Yeah, I don’t like shopping much either. But it was a really good day.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because on the way to the shops, and on the way home, Michèle and I talked and talked and laughed and talked and argued and talked and laughed and talked some more. It was a terrific day”, I answered.
I have been shopping thousands of times. There is nothing exciting about going shopping anymore. Going shopping by myself is a chore. But Michèle made the trip to the store a great day because we engaged. We never stopped engaging for the entire trip.
How do you help your dressage horse feel happy to do another bloody circle? How do you help your Arab feel glad to be training for another damn endurance ride? How do you turn being caught for the farrier into something your horse does not dread?
When I ride, I engage with my horse in a conversation every step we take. It’s not the circle I work on, but the conversation we have that makes the circle a great circle. The same is true when I load a horse into a trailer, or ask for a lead change, or approach a jump. It’s not the circle, lead change, or clearing the jump that is special. It’s the conversation I have with a horse in the journey to achieving a beautiful circle, or lead change, or whatever we are working towards.
It’s the conversation and engaging the mind of the horse in a back and forth discussion that helps a horse to not see the work as work.
Michèle makes even something as mundane and ordinary as morning feeding fun and special.